The Statistical Improbability of You
Celebrating the Divine providence of marital love
I had the honor yesterday of officiating the marriage of a young couple. Each one of these special occasions is brimming over with excitement, anxious tension, and joy.
The big day has finally arrived. Months of preparation have come to glorious fruition.
My counsel to the groom and bride, well in advance of the occasion, is to make sure that they are not preoccupied with executing wedding day details on the day of celebration. Those should be left to someone else so that the couple can capture memories of a day that will pass faster than a vapor. Nagging relatives concerned about the guest who was given fish instead of chicken should be kept away from the bride!
A wedding day celebration is special though, not just because of the human preparation and expense, not even because of the beauty of the party, but more so due to the special care of Divine providence.
A wedding service is always charged with special meaning
There is a line in the wedding liturgy I traditionally lead that says, “Seeing this special day is charged with meaning”. I always hope this phrase captures the couple’s attention.
The day is ‘charged’ with meaning, not just due to the human preparation, nor the intensity of the couple’s love, but mainly due to God’s loving and sovereign preparation.
The Psalmist writes,
Great are the works of the Lord;
they are pondered by all who delight in them. (Psalm 111:2, NIV)
What are these great works of the Lord? Where have I seen the glory of these mighty acts?
Are they God’s great military victories of the past? Does a surprising windfall of cash at just the right time count? Is it landing the perfect job that I never thought possible?
Perhaps.
Certainly, God’s providential operation is at work in the smallest of life’s details.
Jesus spoke of the Father’s special attention to us when He said,
Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you — you of little faith! (Luke 12:27–28, NIV)
In my own life, I would have to confess that God’s greatest works are the relationships He has given me: my parents, our six amazing children, and especially my wife.
In my sermon on this wedding occasion, I challenged the couple to see that this day was charged with special meaning because they believed Almighty God brought them together.
Marriage is hard. Maintaining relationships with other human beings can be challenging. The best of us, even when we have given it our all, will likely experience the trauma of broken and ruptured bonds.
I hoped this couple might capture a sense of awe for the particular mysterious manifestation of their wedding day and that their belief in God’s special providence would carry them in the days ahead.
The statistical improbability of finding your true love
The Psalmist highlights that those who delight in the works of the Lord “ponder” them. These worshippers “study” God’s activities.
They make diligent analysis a habit of the heart.
I asked Allison and McGraw on their wedding day to consider the statistical improbability of finding each other. What is the likelihood that on this huge, spinning planet, with its billions of people, in the course of the ancient history of our universe, that these two would have found each other?
Anyone who gives thanks to God for their marriage partner should stop for a moment to consider what such gratitude actually means. The implications of giving thanks for life’s smallest details are a testimony of belief in an Almighty God who pays attention to the smallest of details for a whole lot of people.
My own heart swells with worship and awe as I contemplate the special, mysterious care for God to bring Gail to me. I regularly give thanks to the Lord for her, but I don’t often consider the amazing providence it took to arrange our union.
Considering the age of humanity, we could have been born years apart. Of all the possible years of our birth, we were born in 1975 and 1976 respectively.
Our families could have been in careers that had them working in a myriad of geographies around the world. Of all the countries we could have been born, our native homeland is the United States of America.
Of all the colleges or universities we could have attended, we both ended up our sophomore years as transfer students in 1995 at Liberty University.
When I showed up that first night on campus, the school did not have a room for me. They housed me in the room of one of the dorm leaders, who just happened to be Gail’s cousin. She recalls talking to him about some guy who had to stay in his room.
In a university with 14,000 students at the time, our paths did not have to cross.
When two new groups of friends decided to go to a coffee shop one evening, our schedules could have been occupied with something else to do.
We didn’t have to be sitting next to each other that night as I offered her a sip of my raspberry hot chocolate.
Gail’s friend later told me that she had a boyfriend in Texas, one in North Carolina, and one at school. For a time, I wrote off asking Gail out because I wasn’t eager to be boyfriend #4. I didn’t know at the time that her friend was interested in me. I am pretty certain in hindsight that her story was a bit twisted.
After meeting and going on dates with a few different girls, I was wondering as a sophomore who God might have for me. My mind was blank and a little despondent as I considered the possibilities. In hindsight, I find it comical that a guy at a school of 14,000 students would even be tempted to feel hopeless after just six months on campus.
After returning from a flight home to Chicago for one of our breaks, I landed in Roanoke, Virginia. On the drive back to Lynchburg, I noticed a glowing sign for the LewisGale medical clinic.
That glorious sign was like a display from heaven. I immediately thought of that beautiful, brown-eyed, brunette, Gail Traylor. I made it my goal that night to muster up the courage to ask her out. I inadvertently ended up asking her out in front of her friend who had discouraged me from giving my heart to a floozy.
Gail said yes. The rest is history. We dated for six months and were married eight months after that on May 31st, 1997.
Only a God who sweats the details could have pulled our union off.
Gratitude for God’s special care
When I give thanks to God for giving Gail to me as a wife, there are massive implications. God’s providence is like a perfectly played orchestra, a masterpiece flawlessly executed by expert hands.
I am no mathematician, but the statistical probability of bringing two humans together is mind-boggling. One might say that predicting that a boy from Illinois and a girl from South Texas would meet in Virginia is unlikely.
I could tell the reader about what an amazing woman, wife, and mother that Gail has turned out to be. To say that she is incredible would be an understatement. I am truly unworthy.
I wonder what such a Divine orchestration says about who God is and what He thinks of me. The mysterious, loving, special care required to bring Gail to me is overwhelming.
Our lives are not subject to chance or some impersonal force. Our loving, heavenly Father controls the course of our years, orchestrating events for our good because He cares for us.
What a glorious and mysterious thought.
Great are the works of the Lord;
they are pondered by all who delight in them. (Psalm 111:2, NIV)
We would do well to not only delight in God’s works but study them. That kind of pondering and meditation will inevitably lead us to deep awe and worship of the God whose providence seems statistically improbable.
