The Last Word Spoken About You
What will be the content of your final epitaph? What will the people who know you best speak over your life at your time of death?
Over the years, I have had my share of opportunities to conduct funeral services. Some are warm and beautiful, as friends and loved ones gush over their departed loved one. They retell their favorite memories and praise their very best character traits.
“She made everyone who came into our home feel like family. She held us all together.”
“He had a way of creating a vision for other people’s lives. He loved God and wanted hoped his family would do the same.”
Other final words have not always been so glowing. Sometimes passive-aggressive comments are peppered into these services as opposed to the directness of outright criticism.
“We all know he had a temper” (insert nervous laughter).
“She could be very particular because she cared about the details.”
“He wasn’t around often because he was so committed to being a hard worker.”
Whether we like to wrestle with it or not, each of us will one day breathe our last. Our families will be left to craft a service order for our funeral and names will be assigned to speak about you.
In those moments it will become evident what, if any, legacy it is that you left behind. Your earthly life will have been either a forgettable vapor or a memorable, lasting investment that dramatically improved the lives of the people close to you.
What last word will be spoken about you?
Writing Your Legacy
If you want to pull a really comical move, go ahead and write out your own epitaph in advance, seal it in an envelope, and request that it be read at your funeral. “He was an amazing fellow, a handsome chap, an impossible-to-replace kind of guy. He paid great attention to detail and was always sure to eat his vegetables. He was secretly nominated as Time’s ‘Man of the Year’ in 2018, but respectfully declined because he wanted to spare his family from being chased incessantly by the paparazzi.”
All joking aside, whether we realize it or not, we are actively writing our own epitaph. The draft is not made with pen and paper but with the content of our very lives. The way we choose to spend our time, the manner in which we treat our family and friends, and the personal character we develop and embody, these are the instruments of our life’s story.
Your family and friends will pause to reflect and remember you, your character, and your way with them. They may talk about your career, simply by way of accounting how you spent your time, and if you were accomplished in your work. Funny remembrances of memories shared together will perch on the forefront of their minds.
The things that you will really want to be told about you are those things that will leave indelible marks on the lives of the people that matter to you right now. This, I believe, is the love and care you showed to them, the time you wisely invested in them.
Memories will enable them to remember your laughter together, your smile, the tightness of your hugs, and the strangely specific quirks that made you unique.
The recounting of these traits and actions is the sweetest thing I have had the privilege of witnessing at funerals. The very real love that was shared continues on in a strangely living way even after death.
The Scriptures tell us that “these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love” (1 Corinthians 13:13 NIV).
Love remains.
No one will care that you owned great possessions. Yes, people will want to inherit your stuff, but ask a grieving loved one if they would rather inherit the car or have one more day with their loved one. There will be no hesitation.
The content of your life will be the reflective material your loved one uses for your epitaph.
What will the last words spoken about you say? You are writing these words today on the hearts and minds of the people in your life. When you wake up tomorrow, more words will be etched on your life’s scroll by who you are and who you choose to be.
Do not waste your life’s hours investing in the garbage that will be thrown on life’s trash heap. Many hours, accumulating into days and weeks, are being wasted scrolling on devices or in selfish pursuits that have no lasting value.
Jesus said, “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matthew 6:19-21 NIV).
Live wisely, therefore. Love outlandishly. Make your hours count with the people you cherish.
If you do, your life’s words will have staying power that remains because they were written with a life overflowing with purpose and love.
